As I mentioned in my earlier post, I was able to travel down to Southern California to attend my best friend’s baby shower. Alex and I have been friends since age 6 I believe. We went to the same church and grew an unshakable bond. There are ups and downs in any friendship (especially going through your pre-teen / teen years) but through these ups and downs I knew in my heart that I would never want to lose this friend of mine.
On multiple occasions we have been asked if we were sisters or twins (I secretly loved this because I always wanted a twin). We, coincidentally, married our lovers one week apart (which could have caused competition and hurt feelings when I think about it, but there was only love). She stood by my side in my wedding and I by hers. Alex tells it exactly as it is and I treasure her honesty to me.
Nine months ago when Alex called me and told me she had to tell me something, I instantly knew she was pregnant. I could not have been more excited for her. But since there are many miles between us, I only was able to see her once during her pregnancy. She looked amazing of course (no matter how rough it was). Even seeing that belly of hers didn’t make it real to me. Everything was still the same from my point of view.
Then I got a text and picture on June 3 (8 days past her due date) that little Eleanor Steele was born. I can’t even explain the rush of emotion that came over me.
Mind you, I had never truly thought about motherhood before this day. I knew it would happen someday but that someday would be far into the future. I was not ready to settle down. The thought of motherhood made me super nervous and uncomfortable. But seeing this friend who I love dearly with a babe in her arms made me cry instantly. I could not have been prouder. Motherhood for me could not have felt more real and something to strive for (still not saying I am ready but I now am more open to it).
I got teary eyed because I knew how extremely lucky Eleanor was to have my amazing friend as a mother. To have a mother so strong in her beliefs, so creative, so real and so fun to be around.
Now, I still don’t know when I will be ready for motherhood but I know it is a gift and a blessing. It is a struggle and a learning experience. It will refine me into my best self.
I know this is getting a little personal, but this blog is also my outlet.
I have never been so overcome by one picture. Seeing my friend become a mother, rocked my world a little bit. All our life monuments thus far have been together but this is all her. And that made me realize it could and will be me one day in the future.
PS What do you think… could we still pass off as twins?